SHOULD YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME WHEN YOU GET MARRIED?

© Hans Decoz, 2024. All rights reserved.

As a rule of thumb, that is a good choice, because there should be no need to sacrifice a part of who you are for any reason, including marriage. And that is exactly what you do when you take on your partner's name - you sacrifice a piece of yourself.

Changing Your Name for Artificial Reasons

Artificial name changes, however, are names designed in the (almost always) futile attempt to add or remove certain attributes without going through the normal process of learning, overcoming obstacles, and so forth.

It is disheartening to hear about "numerologists" who suggest that someone change a name to “add an 8 in order to become rich and famous”, or to add a 5 to overcome shyness. If a numerologist - or anyone for that matter - tells you changing your name will help you become a happier, healthier, or wealthier human being, you are getting bad advise.

There is a big difference between an individual who feels the need to change their name, and a name change meant to be a shortcut to a happier and more successful life. There are no shortcuts and trying to skip ahead throws a monkey wrench into the natural evolution of your life's path.

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What does numerology say about going back to my maiden name?

Yes - and almost certainly in a positive way. A rule of thumb: The name closest in makeup to the name given at birth is the more favorable to you and to what you want out of this life – especially when you are single. There are, however, plenty of exceptions.

It is surprising how many people who change their name for organic reasons (marriage, adoption, career requirements) as opposed to artificial reasons, intuitively or coincidentally acquire a name with just the right number combinations to make a positive impact.

Also consider that the age-old practice of a woman surrendering her last name to adopt her husband’s is often beneficial to the relationship. This is not as much about “surrender” as it is about sharing the same name (or a part of the same name when both names are used).

I would advise to have both last names analyzed, and a combination with both names included, because, as I mentioned earlier, there are plenty of exceptions.

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From Numerology Questions - a Dear Hans column:

Mona asks about the importance of Name Changes

Hi Hans,

Thank you for letting us to ask you about numerology. When I was born my name was Monika. My parents changed it to Mona (maiden name). When I got married my name is changed to Mona (married name).

I know a little bit about numerology, so my Expression number is 13/4 (karmic number). I am the most disliked person in my family and social groups. Before my marriage people used to like me, now after my marriage I am not liked by anyone, and my career is going badly.

Is my marriage name responsible for this?

Mona.

Hi Mona,

A name change can have a big impact on the quality of your life, however, you have some control over its effect, unlike the full name at birth or your date of birth, which can’t be changed.

The name you go by now - your married name - more than anything else reflects the way you see yourself now; how you feel about yourself. Whenever you introduce yourself you represent yourself as the person you feel and think you are. This, of course, is largely subconscious.

Based on your question, you felt better and more comfortable about yourself when you used your previous name, the way you introduced yourself before marriage.

You have a few options. First, of course, you could go back to your maiden name. This can be prblematic, depending on the people around you, the norms of the society you live in, etc. Another option is to go back to your original first name, Monica (instead of Mona). This changes the influence of your current name by adding 3 to your Minor Personality and your Minor Expression, and 9 to your Minor Heart’s Desire.

The most challenging but also most promising option is to change the way you see yourself. All numbers have a front and a back, which means that regardless of the numbers found in your chart, it is up to you to draw from their positive or negative influences. Take a good look at yourself and ask yourself the hard questions: What is the real reason the quality of my life seems to be going down? How much control do I (want to) have?

To some extend we all struggle with such questions and perhaps that is the reason we find ourselves in certain situations; it puts us on a path of self-improvement.

Hans Decoz

Ann asks how changing her name after marriage will affect her core name numbers.

Dear Hans,

I was born on July ..., 19... (day and year withheld) in New Zealand, and my birth name and my adopted name never changed my core numbers -- as far as I know, these have just stayed the same.

Apart from a brief marriage long ago (it didn’t count, as far as I was concerned), with my new marriage coming up, my numbers are about to change. I am wondering your take on this as far as one’s soul path and evolution goes.

Do you still have the core numbers from your birth name?

Ann

Dear Ann,

Your question will probably interest quite a few people as the notion that changing your name might in some way influences the course of your life is a popular and correct one. However, it is important to understand where it affects your life and where it doesn't.

Numerology considers three sources that reflect the energies and influences that impact your life. The first one is your date of birth. Almost all your cycles as well as certain other aspects come from your date of birth, including your Life Path which, as the name applies, is a bit like a roadmap for your life in that it sets the direction as well as the timing of major changes and events. This part of your chart never changes and is not affected by a name change.

The next source is your full name at birth. In your case, since you know the original name to have been Ann ..... (name withheld), you should probably use that in your numerology chart, as supposed to Ann .....

Both names offer the same core numbers, but the Spiritual Transit, and therefore also the Essence cycles, both of which are based on the last name, are different. But whichever you use, the issue is that this name also does not change, and it is your full name at birth that reveals "who" you are, what you are made off; your talents, strengths, weaknesses, etc. No matter how often you change the name you go by, this initial blueprint of your core traits and attributes does not change.

The third source is the name you go by, the way you introduce yourself, your every-day name. And this is what changes and it is a change that can make a huge difference in the course of your life, the quality of your life, and everything else in your life.

Here is why. The name you use every day expresses how you see yourself. It indicate who you think you are, your understanding of yourself. Every time you put out your hand to introduce yourself and say: "I am so-and-so," you actually communicate who and what you think you are.

And as any psychologist or life-coach will tell you, the way you feel about yourself makes all the difference in the world. Your self-confidence, your discipline, your ability and willingness to put forth effort, your acceptance and gratitude of what you recognize as blessings, all these things make a difference in the quality of your life and your happiness.

In your case, your forthcoming name change could put a harder edge to your attitude and general temperament, due to the addition of two 8's. It will make you more practical, more goal-oriented, and perhaps more successful.

However, it will also bring more contradicting and conflicting energies into your life. Your chart is dominated by nines (and threes) and the 9 and 8 are inherently discordant.

You will find yourself getting angry quicker, rebel against expectations, and otherwise experience inharmonious feelings more often than you used to. The fact that you are in your late forties helps as your maturity will buffer those influences, however, you will not be able to avoid them completely.

My first impression, based in part on a quick look at your current cycles as well as other numbers in your chart (2 Essence, 6 Challenge, 6 Personal Year - all indicators that your heart will be a bit more exposed and vulnerable in the near future) is that I would not recommend taking on the name Cam ... unless you feel strong, confident, very stable, and secure. Think of it as choosing a path for the next several years that may have some added promise, but it is also more dangerous and difficult.

Hans Decoz

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See also:

Changing Your Name

Screen Names and Nicknames

Naming a business or product

Your Ancestor's names and how they may still affect you today.

The Numerology Meaning of Hurricane Names

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From Numerology Questions - a Dear Hans column:

Mona asks about the importance of Name Changes

Hi Hans,

Thank you for letting us to ask you about numerology.

When I was born my name was Monika. My parents changed it to Mona (maiden name). When I got married my name is changed to Mona (married name).

I know a little bit about numerology, so my Expression number is 13/4 (karmic number). I am the most disliked person in my family and social groups. Before my marriage people used to like me, now after my marriage I am not liked by anyone, and my career is going badly.

Is my marriage name responsible for this?

Mona.

Hi Mona,

A name change can have a big impact on the quality of your life, however, you have some control over its effect, unlike the full name at birth or your date of birth, which can’t be changed.

The name you go by now - your married name - more than anything else reflects the way you see yourself now; how you feel about yourself. Whenever you introduce yourself you represent yourself as the person you feel and think you are. This, of course, is largely subconscious.

Based on your question, you felt better and more comfortable about yourself when you used your previous name, the way you introduced yourself before marriage.

You have a few options. First, of course, you could go back to your maiden name. This can be prblematic, depending on the people around you, the norms of the society you live in, etc. Another option is to go back to your original first name, Monica (instead of Mona). This changes the influence of your current name by adding 3 to your Minor Personality and your Minor Expression, and 9 to your Minor Heart’s Desire.

The most challenging but also most promising option is to change the way you see yourself. All numbers have a front and a back, which means that regardless of the numbers found in your chart, it is up to you to draw from their positive or negative influences. Take a good look at yourself and ask yourself the hard questions: What is the real reason the quality of my life seems to be going down? How much control do I (want to) have?

To some extend we all struggle with such questions and perhaps that is the reason we find ourselves in certain situations; it puts us on a path of self-improvement.

Hans Decoz

-Ω-